Today we dissect Chocoberry's twin: Pastelicia, which is marketing talk for custard and glorified raisins. I haven't seen anything similar on offer, so I was looking forward to cramming it down with great speed and hoping not to choke in the process. Hope dies last.Naturally, the product inside looks NOTHING like the picture on the package. You see those 3 thick creamy skid marks? Yeah, inside you'll find ONE malnourished stripe that doesn't even go all the way throughout. It's pathetic and it's insulting. Scroll down for a good look at its non-existence, but consider yourself warned.
If you've ever had a fast food burger (who the fuck hasn't? I salute you) then you are undoubtedly accustomed to this treadmill of disappointment. As usual, Michael Douglas explains it best.
All ranting aside, this Pastelicia bullshit is pretty tasty! Not because of the custard as at this quantity it virtually adds no taste, but... that. fucking. bread. Nobody bakes it like Vinnie D! That sneaky assassin reels you in with promises of novel and exotic filler only to nail you down with his tried and true bread pillow. Motherfucker.
Careful when microwaving as the custard heats up much quicker than the rest of this bad boy, so you might end up burning your mouth like the idiot that I am.
The verdict: just get a classic D'Onofrio Paneton... lower price for the same quality, minus pretentious custard bullshit that will maim your tongue.
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